J White
by Built on the Horizon
Summary: Dr Cole: What do you think you would do, if Superman were here, in this room? J. White: I would walk up behind him, snap his neck and shove Kryptonite down his throat.
1. Chapter 1

You will be different, sometimes you'll feel like an outcast, but you'll never be alone.

You will make my strength your own. You will see my life through your eyes, as your life will be seen through mine.

The son becomes the father and the father becomes the son.

-Superman to Jason White, _Superman Returns_

* * *

J. White

Session 1

Subject number SM-5438

Transcript

* * *

Dr Cole: Make yourself comfortable. I'm Dr Cole, but you can call me Sasha if you'd like. We'll be seeing a lot of each other soon. Could you please state your name for the record, please?

White: Jason White.

Dr Cole: Okay… I'm sorry, your accent, I can't quite pick it. Where are you from?

White: Metropolis, America, but I've lived in Australia recently.

Dr Cole: That's a great place, I've always wanted to go to that city, see the sights.

White: Well, there's a lot to see, but I doubt most tourists actually see it.

Dr Cole: Why's that?

White: They've got their eyes glued to the sky, that's why.

Dr Cole: Oh, that's right, the hero of that city…

White: Superman.

Dr Cole: You don't seem to like him very much.

White: What's not to love? The Man of Steel, Lone Survivor of Krypton, the Man of Tomorrow, the man who ruined my life.

Dr Cole: Why don't you explain that a little?

White: I'm sorry, that's more of a third date topic.

Dr Cole: What about your family, let's start there.

White: I'm sure you've heard of my mother, Lois Lane, fearless reporter, heartthrob of the Man of Steel. No siblings.

Dr Cole: What about your father?

White: [Cold stare, pause.] You've read my file. Fill in the blanks.

Dr Cole: Yes, I did. [Looks at folder] You've displayed incredible strength, your eyes alone seem to hold more abilities than most of our other subjects put together, and gravity seems to have a hard time pinning you down…

White: [Smiling] Well, when you say it like that.

Dr Cole: Our program is specifically designed for people like you-

White: You mean half alien freaks?

Dr Cole: -people with abilities, things they can't explain. Your powers set you apart from the rest of society, they alienate you. This program will help you assimilate back into normal society, or if you would rather, train and use your powers in a way that most benefits you and this organization.

White: That's not why I'm here.

Dr Cole: Ah, yes. I've got your admittance form right here. Under _further comments, _you have written: "I want to be powerful. I want to be stronger than him and take him down in a fight without trying. I know I can, I just need to practice."

[Pause]

Dr Cole: Do I need to ask you who "He" is?

White: You're the shrink; you should be able to decode that little "ruined my life" rant.

Dr Cole: The programs that occur in this facility can be taxing on the mind. I'm here to help you cope with that. These are major changes that you've signed yourself up for.

[Longer pause]

Dr Cole: [Sigh] Your powers evidently come from your father, yet you take your name from someone else.

White: Richard White.

Dr Cole: Who is he?

White: For a while there, he was my mother's fiancé. We all thought he was my father, and no one was going to complain. I mean, Superman took off, flew halfway across the galaxy trying to find a dead planet and left Earth alone for five year. Everyone think's he's this high and mighty hero, but he knocked my mom and bolted. Richard raised me as his own son. He's more like my father than Superman is.

Dr Cole: What do you think you would do, if Superman were here, in this room?

White: [Leans in] I would walk up behind him, snap his neck and shove Kryptonite down his throat.

End of extract


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

Doctor Sasha Cole

Initial subject report- SM -5438

Name: Jason White

Physical details: 6"3', 215 pounds, black hair, blue eyes.

Age: 25

* * *

Doctor's notes:

_White volunteered himself for the program after being contacted by a representative. He is unusually anxious to begin experimentation. He presents with intense rage and a desire for vengeance. I would advise extreme caution and that, for the time being, limitations be put on advancements made on his unusual abilities. He has opened up considerably more to me than to any of his other temporary psychiatrists. That being so, I request that I be given control over all mental affairs of J. White._

Sasha spun the pen distractedly between her fingertips before she continued.

_At this point I believe introductory or preparatory procedures are of no threat, however, experimentation should wait until a full psychiatric evaluation has been made._

Sasha scratched her signature at the bottom of the page and sat back, pulling the open file with her. Her fingers trailed down the page as she re-read the transcript of the extract from their first session.

Jason White. There was no doubt that Jason firmly believed he was Superman's son, but could it be true? The similarities were there of course, jet black hair, crystal blue eyes, everything, right down to his chin. Not to mention the powers, flight, strength, invincibility, they all lined up, but for the story to be true it would have to go against everything Superman had showed himself to be…loyal, true, faithful. She couldn't picture him leaving the Earth and a pregnant Lois Lane, unless of course, he never knew?

She slid the folder back to the desk and turned to her laptop, searching the internet. She pulled up a series of articles on Superman by Lois Lane, including the first interview printed after Superman's five year absence. In it she described Superman's need to search space debris for any remains of ancient Krypton. She printed the scanned article and slid it into the folder marked J. White.

Sasha scowled at her recommendations on the psychiatric report. How could she make sure she was listened to? Jason White was a dangerous case, too determined and powerful to be trusted with his own training – and she desperately wanted to take him on, to keep him sane and prepare him for the changes he was about to experience.

Days after she submitted the report, the final work reassignments were sent out from the head of psychiatry office, and White was given to her.

* * *

At their second appointment, Jason had changed. The cocky grin and confident air had gone, now he slumped back in the metal chair, eyes nearly closed in exhaustion.

'You look tired.' Sasha said quietly, placing her file on the empty table between them.

Jason seemed to force his eyes open and gave a small shrug.

'Have you had trouble sleeping?' she guessed.

'No, that's not it.' Jason replied.

'Is there something wrong with the food?' she asked.

For the first time since she walked into the room, he cracked a smile. 'No, and you're going to take forever guessing like that.'

Sasha picked up her pen and spun it between her fingers. 'Is it the sun?'

Jason's eyes snapped open and he looked at her.

She bit her bottom lip to hide a smile. 'When I have a patient, I do my research. I'm actually surprised that no one else in this complex has bothered to do the same. There's a lot of information out there about… Kryptonians.' She stumbled on the awkward word, but didn't mention his father's name.

'You know how scientists are.' Jason said. 'Always have to run their own tests.'

Sasha nodded and flipped open the thin folder, scanning the list of information she'd compiled. 'You draw your powers from the sun. It's because Krypton had a Red Sun, your biology is reacting to the presence of the different light.'

Jason cocked his head. 'You're smarter than most of the people I've met down here.'

'Super speed, heat vision, you can see through anything but lead,' Sasha listed off, 'you could probably hear the entire world's conversations if you wanted and are invulnerable to everything but Kryptonite.' She finished. 'Did I miss anything?'

'Super breath.' Jason shrugged.

Sasha barely contained a smile. 'Super breath?' she repeated.

'You know, breathing out ice cold air that blows out fires, that sort of thing.' Jason summarized.

Sasha jotted something down on her notebook and thumbed through the file. She stopped on the newspaper print out.

'On your admittance form, you also listed psychic abilities.' Sasha continued, sliding the newspaper page out of the file. 'But I've never heard anything of Superman having mental powers.'

'Yes, well, there are a lot of things Superman never told anyone.' Jason muttered darkly. He moved, so quick she didn't even see it, and grabbed the article, pulling it towards him.

The front page article proclaimed, in large, bold letters, _SUPERMAN RETURNS- by Lois Lane._

Jason pushed it away, disgusted at himself for even touching it. Sasha flinched at his attitude, but decided to ignore it, going back to his previous comment.

'What do you mean? What else has he kept secret?' Sasha prodded gently.

Jason steeled. 'Like I said. Third date topic.'

'I'll be holding you to that.' She answered brightly.

Jason's gaze slipped downward tiredly, staring intently but unfocused.

'I know that look.' Sasha said dryly.

Jason snapped upward. 'What look?'

'The look that every guy in the bar wears, the gee-I-really-wish-I-could-see-under-your-shirt look.' She answered. 'Only with your case, I know it's different.'

'It wasn't like that.' Jason answered quickly. 'It's just…' he seemed to struggle for words. 'You're the first non lead covered, complicated matter I've seen all day.'

Sasha frowned. 'What do you mean?'

Jason sighed tiredly. 'My underground "apartment" got moved for the time being, I'm in this lead-lined cube with no sun-light, and it's pretty well soundproofed, too.'

Sasha gasped. 'I'm so sorry, I had no idea they were doing that.'

Jason shrugged. 'It's more like I can't exercise that's the problem at the moment. It's kind of like an itch. I feel like I need to see through something, just to scratch that itch, but… I'm the only thing in that cube.' He winced. 'It's not nice to see the bones of your supposedly invincible hands.'

'I'm sorry; I'll try and fix that as soon as possible.' She promised. 'That… that must be like torture for you. That's what you get for working in a secret organization.' Sasha said, quietly fuming.

Jason winced internally. 'Secrets, don't even get me started on secrets.'

'Well, I'm running late for my next appointment.' Sasha glanced at her watch. 'And tomorrow's our third date, remember.'

Jason gave a short laugh, and then he cocked his head. 'Hey, Sasha, these sessions are confidential, right?'

Sasha stood, tucking pages back into her file. 'Well, they stay within the complex if that's what you mean.'

Jason thought for a moment before he shrugged. 'I suppose it doesn't matter, he's dead anyway.'

Sasha paused, her hand on the door handle. 'Who's dead?'

Jason looked up at her.

'Clark Kent.'


	3. Chapter 3

Jason lay back on the dentist-like chair in the middle of the lab, staring up at the machine humming above him. Dr Holt, a small, balding man with almost black eyes checked the readings on the computer to the side.

'It was specifically designed for you.' Dr Holt said.

'I'm touched.' Jason said slowly. If he didn't have energy, the least he could do was be sarcastic. 'Especially considering you only discovered I existed a month ago.'

Dr Holt smiled automatically. 'Well, adapted for you. We long ago designed a machine for a similar purpose.'

'What's it going to do to me, doc?' he asked.

'It projects particular wavelengths within the sun's electromagnetic spectrum.' Dr Holt said, flicking switches on the machine. 'We're trying to determine which bands are most effective in charging your powers.'

Jason craned his neck around and gave him a look. 'I need that in high school dropout talk, please.'

'We're trying to find out what makes you tick.' Dr Holt explained. 'We're hopeful that if we can identify which rays of light are responsible for your powers, we can harness and focus them for maximum absorbency.'

'Cool.' Jason's eyes lit up. 'Like living in a hyperbaric chamber.' He chuckled weakly. 'I might have dropped school, but I still took biology.'

The door swung open and high-heeled shoes tapped across the room.

'Dr Holt, I'm Dr Cole.' Sasha said shortly. 'I'm working with Mr White as his psychiatrist.' She pointed to her nametag.

'Hey Sasha.' Jason said from the table, lethargically grinning up at her.

Sasha tried to look professional. 'Can I speak with you for a moment?'

Before she received an answer, she pulled Dr. Holt aside and spoke quickly.

'Am I correct in saying that for the past week, you have denied Mr White sun exposure or even allowing him to exercise his powers?' she hissed.

'You mind doctor's don't understand.' Dr Holt shook his head. 'Just talking to our subjects won't tell us everything we need to know. Sometimes experiments contain risks.'

'Risks?' Sasha repeated. 'What you're doing is just as bad as sensory deprivation. That's torture. Or have you forgotten the Geneva Convention?'

Dr Holt pursed his lips at her patronising tone. 'Do aliens even fall under that jurisdiction?'

Sasha fumed quietly. 'I swear, Dr Holt-'

'What?' he challenged. 'Jason has consented to every test we've run on him. What we are doing is merely cleansing his system so we can start fresh.' He turned to Jason. 'Isn't that right?'

Jason's jaw clenched slightly, but he nodded sharply. Sasha sighed in frustration and she left the lab quickly.

'This is our third date.' Sasha reminded him cheerfully as she sat down in her chair. 'You owe me a long story.'

Jason laughed. 'This,' he gestured, 'is not a date. Dates involved food.'

Sasha tossed something at him and he caught it one handed.

'A power bar?' Jason asked, amused. 'You sure know how to show a guy a good time.'

'That's what they say,' shrugged Sasha with a smile, '"Doctor Cole, the un-dateable monster."'

'I have a hard time believing that.' Jason muttered, looking her up and down.

Sasha coughed to disguise a blush.

'Anyway, uh…' she struggled for her train of thought. 'Apart from the fact that you're from Metropolis, I know almost nothing about you.'

'Ah, yes.' Jason said. 'I can see why they chose you to be my psychiatrist; you're an absolute mastermind of getting people to open up to you without sounding like a broken record of a shrink.'

Sasha frowned at his playful sarcasm. 'You know, no patients are actually required to have a psychiatrist.' She said. 'I actually had to request to become yours, because I know that what you've signed up for is going to change you and you might not realize when it's time to stop.'

Jason sighed and shifted in his chair, staring at the power bar on the table.

'So, you are under no obligation to tell me anything.' Sasha continued. 'But I would like to know. I'm asking you, as… as a friend.'

Jason stared at her for a very long time before he reached his conclusion.

'You don't have anywhere to be?' he asked. 'No pressing matters?'

'I'm free for the rest of the day.' She answered.

'Okay.' Jason nodded. 'You want to know my story? Every gory detail?'

'Yes.' Sasha said without hesitation.

'You want me to rip myself open so you can whack a psycho-babble band-aid on it and make it all better?'

'I want to know the real you.'

Jason held her eyes for a long time. 'Do we need to find a couch, Dr Freud?' he snapped.

'Whatever you want, Jason, I'm just here to help.' Sasha said soothingly.

He rubbed a hand over his face. 'I don't know why I'm considering telling this to a complete stranger.' He muttered, then he looked up at her again and began.

'You have no idea how many secrets the man has been keeping.' Jason said. 'I mean, obviously no one expects the one "incorruptible" man on earth to be leading a double life.'

Sasha cocked her head, blinking rapidly. 'What-? What do you mean?'

'Have you ever heard of a reporter called Clark Kent?' Jason asked through gritted teeth.

Sasha frowned in thought. 'Um, yeah, yeah, he used to work for _The Daily Planet_, like, decades ago; my mom was a big fan of his work.'

'He was Superman.' Jason revealed quickly.

Sasha stared for a moment. 'I thought you said Clark Kent was dead.'

'Well, he is, legally, he died on a ferry explosion.' Jason said. 'But before that, he used to dress up in a three piece suit and thick glasses to go to work as bumbling Clark Kent. Worked a treat back in the day, when the newspapers were the first ones to know anything, but really how helpful could it really be now, when the internet knows more, and faster, than reporters ever could?'

'Hold on, _Daily Planet_? That was the same-'

'The same newspaper that my mom worked for, yeah.' Jason finished. 'Kind of stalker-ish, isn't it?'

'Well, it makes sense that he can't be Superman all the time.' Sasha justified. 'And he had to be somewhere when he wasn't saving the world.'

'I was five years old when he returned from his five year holiday.' He made a face. 'Seriously, did _anybody_ bother to do the math here? Anyway, I already had a family; Mom, Richard and me, we were happy. She didn't even know that I wasn't his, not until I threw a piano across the room.'

Sasha's eyebrows shot up. 'But, I mean, why didn't she count backwards and figure it out? Why wasn't she even curious?'

Jason gave a sick, twisted smile. 'Good question and the answer's even better. Because she didn't know.'

'She didn't know?' Sasha repeated dumbly. 'But… didn't they…? Surely-'

'More accurately, she forgot. He made her forget somehow. I was a mistake so horrible that he wouldn't even let mom remember it.' Jason spat. 'And it gets better.'

'Go on.' Sasha urged.

'We had this happy little nuclear family, I mean, sure, it was tough, I was in and out of hospital for half of my life, my whole body was messed up, DNA problems, I guess, but we managed.' He said. 'Then _he_ comes swooping in, in a huge public début, and when he found out the truth about me, he kept watching from the sidelines, never doing _anything_ other than just watching.'

Jason sighed heavily and grabbed the power bar.

'Of course, I already had a crap start out to life as it was, I was the sickest person we knew, and my parents were crack reporters who were gone more often than not. And mom had to go and re-open her past love interest in the hero, so that just screwed things over more.'

He paused and took a large bite from the bar.

'And he never told her.' He said; his voice low and dangerous. 'He saw her every day at work, you'd think that if he really knew how much she loved him, that he could take five seconds out of his busy schedule to take off his glasses and tell her who he was.'

* * *

**Big section coming up, it'll seem disjointed, chapter to chapter, but hopefully I'll post quicker! I'm a sucker for reviews!**


	4. Chapter 4

'And he never told her.' He said; his voice low and dangerous. 'He saw her every day at work, you'd think that if he really knew how much she loved him, that he could take five seconds out of his busy schedule to take off his glasses and tell her who he was.'

'When did you find out?' Sasha asked.

'A grand total of three minutes after meeting Clark Kent.' Jason said. 'I was five, I just saw the eyes and the chin and I figured it out. He told me to keep it a secret, I couldn't even tell _mom_.'

* * *

_Jason rolled over in bed and cracked an eye open, looking over his room curiously. He knew Superman had been in his room before, and he might just be there now._

_He was right; Superman was standing by the window, still as a statue. He didn't look majestic like he usually did. He looked huge in the dim light, but still different._

'_I'm sorry for waking you.' He said, his voice not as deep as he was on the television, but not as high as he was when he was Clark Kent._

''_s alright.' Jason mumbled, moving a hand to get the hair out of his eyes._

_Superman cocked his head to the side, eyes narrowed as he listened to something far away. 'I have to go.' He said, turning towards the window._

'_Wait!' Jason said, arms outstretched to try to get him to stay. 'I made you something.'_

_Superman turned and waited as Jason leaned over and pulled something out of his bedside table. He held it out to Superman._

'_What is it?' Superman asked, taking it off him._

'_It's glasses.' Jason said as Superman unfolding the paper glasses. 'So you can see when you're flying and don't run into things._

_Superman faltered. 'What makes you think I'd run into things?'_

'_Because you always do. You fall over and trip and knock things over.' Jason said, almost bouncing on his bed._

'_When?'_

'_When you're at _ThePlanet_.' Jason said slowly; as if he was explaining something obvious._

'_When was I at _The Planet_?' Superman asked._

_Jason groaned. 'You're always at _The Planet_; you work there when you're pretending to be Mister Clark.'_

_Superman's eyes widened._

'_What?' Jason asked._

'_How…' Superman swallowed and tried again. 'How did you know?'_

_Confusion flicked across Jason's face. 'You look the same.'_

_Superman took a deep breath and sat down on the edge of Jason's bed. 'You can't tell anyone that I'm Clark, okay?'_

'_Why not?'_

'_I don't want bad people to know.' Superman said._

'_I won't tell the bad people. They scare me.' Jason looked away; he didn't like Superman thinking he was scared._

'_Me too.' Superman said sadly. 'But I can't risk anyone hurting my family.'_

'_Your family?' Jason asked, intrigued._

_Superman froze for an instant before nodding slowly. 'I have a mom and I don't want anyone to hurt her.'_

'_I don't want anyone to hurt my mom either.' Jason said softly._

_Superman swallowed. 'Also, as Clark Kent, I can watch over your mom and make sure she doesn't get into any trouble.'_

_This puzzled Jason, couldn't he do the same thing as Superman?_

'_I have to go.' Superman said again, standing up._

'_Okay.' Jason said, snuggling into his bed._

'_Go to sleep.' Superman said softly before floating out the window, still clutching a pair of paper glasses._

* * *

'Mom knew who I was by then, but she never knew who Superman was. My dad, Richard, that is, he found out one Easter Sunday when I was six. I just knew there was an egg under the lounge, so I picked it up, one-handed, easy as anything. The shouting match between Mom and Dad went for ages; I even had to spend the night at Great-Uncle Perry's once. But Richard still loved me, hell, he still loved mom after all that anyway. He's more like my father than that alien freak ever was.'

'What about your powers?' Sasha asked. 'Surely, when they started to develop, he had to come into your life more.'

Jason chuckled. 'I'm different to my father, when he discovered his powers, they were always an accident, falling through the barn roof and never hitting the ground. My powers were never a problem when they emerged. I'd be trying to find something in a messy room and could suddenly see through the floor into the living room where it was sitting on the table. I'd be trying to reach something and the easiest way to get it was to hover, that sort of thing.' He shrugged casually. 'I don't know, blame it on the little bit of human, or maybe it was because I knew what was coming.

'He did give me a Suit though. Not all primary colours like his, thankfully, just plain gray with the "S" on the chest. It was pretty handy, I hate to say. You won't believe how much wind resistance you get off jeans and a jacket.'

'How old were you?' Sasha asked. 'I mean, when you found out he was your father.'

Jason rubbed his forehead. 'I don't really know… ten? Eleven max. It's kind of complicated.' He forced a bitter laugh. 'And I was just a kid, you know? Like every kid, hell, every _person_ in Metropolis, I was captivated by him. Of course, when I found out exactly why he'd spent those secretive night meetings with me, it didn't make me proud that Superman visited me, but depressed that my "real" father didn't.' Jason pushed his chair backwards and kicked his feet up on the table.

'Mom and Richard never really split up. It took a few years before she gave back his engagement ring, but they lived in the same house, before…' he swallowed hard and scratched the back of his head. 'When I turned seventeen, I was already harbouring some _deep_ resentment for him, and he turned up one day and told us that seventeen was the coming-of-age on Krypton and he wanted to write me into the Kryptonian family tree records.'

'But Krypton was destroyed.' Sasha said.

'Yeah, but he managed to grow his own little holiday home in the Arctic Circle out of a crystal that was sent with him.' He balled his hands into fists as he talked. 'He called it the Fortress of Solitude. Can you get more pretentious?'

* * *

'_I thought you said the Fortress didn't have any programs.' Jason crossed his arms, standing on the lawn of the house in Metropolis. 'Not since Lex stole the control crystals.'_

'_It does.' Superman corrected. 'Just very, very basic ones. Family lines were very important on Krypton, that's why the family tree survived.'_

_Jason shrugged in response. 'Alright, let's go.' He said, moving to take off._

'_Wait!' Lois called. 'I'm coming with you!'_

'_Mom, you don't want to come, it'll be boring.' Jason protested._

'_Nonsense.' Lois replied. 'This is a right of passage and I want to be there for my boy.'_

_Jason snorted at her sentimentality._

_Superman held out a hand to her and she moved towards him. Their fingers brushed tenderly and Jason almost gagged._

_Lois stepped closer to him, resting the balls of her feet on his boots._

'_Hold on.' Superman whispered._

_Disgusted, Jason immediately took off._

_Far below him, Jason could hear his mother sigh._

'He's not too happy about this, is he?'

'_Genius, mom.' Jason fumed. 'Absolutely frigging genius.'_

'No.' _Superman replied._ 'But he just needs time to adjust.'

'"_Time to adjust"' Jason mocked. 'That's rich.'_

_Jason sped up, the wind whistling in his ears, but it did little to mask the voices of his parents._

'Is this, normal for him?' _Superman forced out._

'Normal as in teenage hormone mood swings?' _Lois asked._ 'Kind of, yeah. But I've never seen him this anxious before.'

'He doesn't like me.' _Superman said._

'_No crap, Sherlock.' Jason muttered._

'That's nonsense. He loves you.'_ Lois replied._ 'He's just having trouble at the moment. He's been a little stressed out.'

'I don't think he likes the idea of…' _Jason could just picture Superman's face as he struggled to find the right words. _'Of us, together.'

_Lois sighed._ 'Maybe he'll have to get used to it. But he's just a boy, and the idea probably makes him a little uncomfortable.'

_Jason couldn't help it. He turned around in mid-air._

'_I can hear you!' he bellowed, the strength of his voice carrying so far that even Lois could hear._

_Jason shuddered and flew off, heading directly for the Fortress, despite his desperate need to escape, to be anywhere but where they were._

* * *

'Superman had been making adjustments to the Fortress.' Jason continued. 'He didn't have any of the control crystals, but he could control parts of the system, particularly the environment. He set the temperature as suitable for humans, which I didn't need, but mom did, apparently. He activated the medical sensors, to monitor her when he couldn't. That's when it all started.' His voice was becoming hushed until it was barely above a whisper.

'Mom didn't know it, but she had a lung cancer.' The words spilled out like the floodgates had opened. 'It was serious.' He choked on something that could have been a laugh or a sob. 'In all the time he was with her, Superman never noticed. His Fortress did though. It found the cancer, determined she had a medical illness and… took the proper precautions.'

_Jason crossed his arms across his chest as he watched Superman speaking to the machine. The Artificial Intelligence of the hologram was the first thing to go, so it took a long time for it to find the right system. Lois watched from behind, a soft smile on her lips._

_A chamber slid open beside her, almost hidden behind the crystals. Lois frowned, about to question Superman when he gave a shout of success, having got successfully into the Fortress' systems._

_Curiosity got the better of her, and she moved closer to it, fingers dancing over the clear crystal. Déjà vu washed over her, and she felt the urge to stand inside and close her eyes, anything to get an eighteen year old buried memory closer to the surface._

_She stepped forward, into the half circle of crystal and turned around slowly._

_The instant she was inside, the gap closed up without a sound, crystals growing in around her._

'_What in the world?' Lois asked, fingers stretching over the clear crystal._

_Outside, both men turned at the sound of her voice._

_Their reactions were instantaneous. Superman leapt towards her, fear frozen on his face. Jason was right beside him, confused, but no less worried._

_The chamber began to hum, light building up in the very crystals themselves._

'_Stay relaxed, Lois, I'm going to get you out.' Superman promised her. She nodded mutely._

_He rammed a shoulder into the crystal, and Lois covered her eyes, expecting them to shatter all around her._

_They didn't._

_He rammed again, harder this time._

'_Let me try.' Jason said, desperately, pushing his father out of the way and punched the crystals. Again, nothing happened._

'_They're from Krypton.' Superman said. 'They are no less indestructible than you or I.'_

'_Then do something.' Jason roared._

_Superman leapt towards the main consol where a slowly spinning hologram of the house of El was displayed._

'_Father!' he announced, and the family tree was replaced by the face of his father. 'What are you doing?'_

'_This is standard protocol, Kal-El,' the voice boomed, 'a medical situation has been detected and the Fortress is unable to cure it.'_

_Jason rammed his shoulder against the crystals again, unwilling to listen. Superman joined him, beams of heat shooting from his eyes and focusing on the base._

_The recorded message of the long dead Kryptonian scientist continued to play._

'_The appropriate course of action has been initiated. The subject is being placed in stasis until a cure is developed and they can be saved.'_

_Superman stopped, the reality beginning to dawn on him._

'_What are you doing?' Jason raged, never stopping trying to break open the crystals and free Lois._

'_There's nothing I can do.' Superman whispered._

_The humming was deafening now, and the light was intense._

'_No.' Lois breathed. She pressed her hand flat against the crystals and a tear slipped from her eyes._

_The humming stopped and the light cut off abruptly, and Lois was frozen._

_Jason shuddered, his shoulder quaking in sobs that wouldn't come. Slowly, he stepped towards her. Her hand was frozen, raised in a macabre farewell._

_Jason slid his hand along the smooth crystal, pressing it against hers. His eyes were brimming with tears of shock and he forced himself to look at hers._

_Her eyes were fixed over his shoulder._

_Fixed on Superman._

_Jason spun to his father, who was shocked into silence._

_Rage boiling up inside him, Jason shoved Superman out of the way._

'_You should have done something.' He spat._

* * *

'And so I ran. I ran so hard and fast.' Jason's eyes were staring fixed on the floor at the memory. 'I don't even know if I flew or if I just never broke the surface of the water. I remember hitching a lift on a 747 and leaving finger dents in the wings.'

* * *

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	5. Chapter 5

* * *

'And so I ran. I ran so hard and fast.' Jason's eyes were staring fixed on the floor at the memory. 'I don't even know if I flew or if I just never broke the surface of the water. I remember hitching a lift on a 747 and leaving finger dents in the wings.'

Sasha had leant across the table to him, breathless at the startling revelation.

'After I told Dad, I locked myself in my room and didn't come out.' Jason said and his hands clenched into fists. 'The great thing about invincibility is that you can't starve yourself to death. But Dad still looked after me. Don't ask how he did it; the man's made out of tougher stuff than I'll ever be. I locked myself in there for a whole week.' He gave a harsh laugh. 'You probably remember it. It was all over the news "Superman absent from hostage situation" "Has he left Earth again?" Truth is, he was still up in the Fortress, stewing in his own self-pity. And, of course, because my life wasn't enough of a metaphor already, the Arctic Circle had just begun its long nights, and in that time of year, the sun would disappear for over a week.'

Jason leant back and flicked some fluff off his clothes in an obvious attempt to distract himself.

'Two days after it happened, the ferry exploded on Metropolis harbour. It was a complete accident, of course, but it shocked everyone, I mean, Superman didn't do anything to stop it, he didn't even show up.' He said. 'Richard organized everything, I don't know how he did, but he made it look like mom died on the boat. Easier than the truth, anyway. And when Clark Kent didn't show up for work or nothing, everyone assumed he was on it too. It didn't matter; everyone that knew him was either dead or didn't care.'

* * *

_Richard let himself into Jason's room, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness. Experience told him not to turn on the lights._

'_I brought you something.' He said._

'_I'm not hungry.' Came the automatic response._

_Richard left the plate on the bedside table, replacing the untouched lunch with fresh dinner. He held up today's newspaper, knowing his son could read it even in the dark._

_The title page read: Serial killer still at large, two dead in Central Metropolis._

'_That's the third one this week.' Richard said softly. 'Everyone's going crazy.'_

'_What do you care?' Jason grumbled._

'_I care because I've just had to write three articles about how the world is falling apart without him.' Richard answered._

'_The world coped fine when he ditched us before.' Jason shot back._

'_The world is crying out to him.'_

'_Then it's his own stupid fault for not listening.'_

_Richard sat down on the edge of the bed._

'_You know where he is, don't you?' he said._

_Jason didn't answer; he just shifted over to give him more room._

_Richard sighed. 'You should go to him.'_

_Jason sat straight up on the bed. 'What?'_

'_He's hurting, he's in pain and he has no one to turn to.' Richard said._

'_If that jerk wanted help, he could have asked for it.' Jason waved a hand in the darkness. 'He's supposed to be this powerful hero, but he couldn't even save mom!'_

'_Superman is your father.' Richard forced out. He waited for the inevitable rebut, but it never came. 'He's your father and even he needs help sometimes.'_

_Jason threw his legs over the side of the bed and sat next to his dad._

'_How do you do it?' he asked, his voice so quiet Richard almost missed it. 'How do you stay so strong?'_

_He wrapped an arm around Jason's shoulders._

'_No one can be strong all the time. Even men of steel have to crack sometimes.'_

* * *

_Jason landed silently, his arms lowering to his sides. He had drifted down into the centre of the Fortress, avoiding the sharp crystals that surrounded it, reaching over the expanse to create a kind of roof._

_His eyes were closed, so he reached out with his other senses._

_Superman's heartbeat, slow and methodical, was off to the side, seemingly unaffected by his presence. His eyes were still shut, but he turned and looked towards him, seeing through his own eyelids._

_Superman was crumpled in a heap of red and blue at the foot of a crystal capsule, Lois' hand pressed against it, completely unmoved in the past week._

_Jason snapped his vision back to normal and turned away, facing his back towards his family. He hovered into an adjoining room and found a round bed with silver sheets. He ripped off the sheet and slipped back into the main room. He threw the sheet over the capsule before he opened his eyes and stood above his father._

'_Get up.' He ordered, rolling him over with his foot._

_He shuffled, his head lolling around as he moved from his sick dog position at Lois' feet. His eyes were bloodshot and he'd grown stubble, something Jason had never seen on him before._

'_You came.' He said weakly._

_Jason looked away, unable to stand the pitiful sight of him._

'_How long has it been since you've seen the sun?' he asked shortly._

_Superman looked as though the thought had never occurred to him._

'_I don't know.' He confessed._

'_So has your hearing been affected yet?' Jason asked. 'Or are you just sadistic enough not to care?'_

_He sighed and rolled back over. 'Don't.'_

'_The ferry was one thing, it was sudden, but the hostage situation' Jason challenged. 'That went for hours.'_

'_Stop.' He said._

'_Or that serial killer in Metropolis.' Jason continued. 'He's not exactly subtle about it.'_

'_Just stop!'_

'_And the floods in Indonesia, it's not like you to leave that family stranded like that.'_

'_Will you shut up!' His voice bellowed through the cavern. He groaned at the noise and clamped his hands over his ears. 'You don't understand. I have given everything I can to this planet! I'm supposed to be here to save them, those humans who are so pig headed they can't even solve their own problems. No one ever considered that maybe I have my own problems to take care of.'_

_Jason stepped back at the sudden outburst, eyes widening in shock. He had never heard such an outburst from the usually calm and controlled man._

_Jason knelt down and fisted the bright red cape, then he took off, dragging Superman behind him._

'_What are you doing?' he asked, vainly trying to push him away as they climbed higher into the air._

'_Something you should have done a long time ago.' Jason answered, then he hurled his father sideways and into the light._

_His powers burst out of control as the yellow light forced its way into his system. He stalled in mid air and began freefalling, his body unable to cope with the sudden power. The pain was forcing its way into each cell, changing him, his powers coming back in full force, but uncontrolled. He thrashed wildly, wind whistling past his ears as he freefell._

_Fear struck Jason as he watched his father dropping like a stone. He didn't even have time to think before he was acting on instinct and shooting after him._

_Superman spun sideways and Jason had to dive out of the way to avoid the out of control heat vision. Then, like a car sputtering to life, he regained control of his flight._

_He hovered mid-air and Jason had to do a one eighty to come up to him again._

_Superman looked as thought it was taking all his concentration just to counteract gravity, his arms flopped to his side and he hung his head. The wind speed caught up and pushed him backwards._

'_Never leave the sunlight.' He begged quietly. 'Please, promise me, the darkness messes with your head and you never want to leave-'_

'_Clark.' Jason cut him off. 'You're babbling. Come down and get something to eat.'_

_He swallowed and nodded, slowly sinking downwards. Jason made sure he landed safely before taking off again to Anchorage to buy a stack of pizza boxes._

'_Super express delivery, right to your secret lair.' Jason announced, faking cheerfulness._

_Superman was standing with his arms crossed across his chest, staring at the silver covered capsule. Jason knew he wasn't seeing the sheet._

'_You'd better hurry up.' Jason said shortly. 'You've got rounds to do and two aliases to resurrect. Lots of explaining to do.'_

_Superman frowned and turned to him, confusion evident on his face. 'What do you mean?'_

'_Well Superman hasn't made an appearance for a week, and Clark Kent has vanished too. No one really cares, but Jimmy Olsen has been putting up "Missing" posters all over Metropolis.'_

_Superman didn't respond so Jason moved around him and started to take off._

'_I'll see you at _The Planet _this afternoon.' He called over his shoulder._

'_What?' Superman asked, his arms falling to his sides._

'_Dad's working late tomorrow; I'm staying at _The Planet_ after school.' Jason explained. 'I'll see you there.'_

'_I'm not going back to _The Daily Planet_, Jason.' Superman said quietly._

'_Sending back Clark Kent later?'_

'_No. Never.' He looked back at the capsule. 'I don't need to be there any more.'_

_Jason glanced from his father to the capsule._

'_You're unbelievable. How can you do that? Just give up on Clark like that?' He said. He walked straight up to him and looked him square in the eye. 'You make me sick.'_

_He took off and few straight back to Metropolis, never looking back._

* * *

'After then, I didn't speak to him for a year. I didn't really see him either, except on television.' Jason said. 'He spent half his life in that ridiculous façade. I thought Clark Kent served _some_ purpose, a break from heroics or something. Apparently not, the only reason he did it was so he could watch my mom from afar and stalk her, never giving her the option to know him fully. Even though he knew she-'

He broke off, staring blankly at the wall.

'And you know the thing that gets me?' he asked. Sasha shook her head mutely. 'Not telling my mom didn't just screw up her life. He could have been there for _me_. Superman could never come to my piano recitals, but Clark Kent could. All he had to do was take that leap. I came this close to telling her so many times, but I never did, I don't know why.'

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**YAY! Another update! They will come faster if you review! I promise!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you so much to whoever** **nominated this story for the Superman Movieverse Fanfiction Awards! What a shock for me!**

* * *

Sasha paused and looked down at her pen and blank pad. She hadn't been taking notes, too enraptured by the story.

'What happened the next year?' she asked. 'When you spoke to him again?'

'I was eighteen and had dropped out of school. I was working as a labourer, bricklaying and that sort of thing.' He smiled guiltily. 'I know, it's practically the definition of lazy.' Sasha smiled with him and gestured him to continue. 'I don't really know the full story, but when he was eighteen he found the shuttle that brought him to Earth and the crystal inside called to him, he took it to the Arctic and threw it into the snow where it grew into his Fortress.' Jason looked down at his hands on the table. 'The same thing happened to me.'

* * *

_Jason woke in a cold sweat, sitting straight up in bed, panting heavily. He glanced down at his arms, goose bumps raised all over it, something he had never felt before._

_Something was very wrong._

_He scanned through the entire house, searching for the tell-tale green glow, but there was none, and he gaze fell on the window. The powerful urge to open it and fly, through the darkness overtook him. It usually came during the night, when the skies were empty and the city was asleep, but tonight was much more intense._

_Jason flicked the covers off and got dressed quickly with a jacket and pulled open the window, sliding outside silently. Long ago, he figured out that it was safer to appear normal until he was well out of eyesight. Every time he went out for a late night flight, he would slide off the docks outside the house and swim under Dad's old seaplane, out of the river mouth and into the ocean before he would come up for breath._

_This time, he resurfaced further out than usual, along the ocean ridge created by Lex Luthor, thirteen years ago. Jason slowed to a stop, his arms spreading out to balance himself. He froze, two different horizons spreading out in front of him. The city of Metropolis, lights glittering in the distance in one direction, and the comforting blackness of the empty ocean in the other._

_The call to the emptiness was too strong, like something unearthly out in the water was pulsing his name. He flew off in the direction it was coming from. He slowly pulled to a stop over the water when he felt the call was coming from below him._

_He knew where he was._

_Thirteen years ago, Lex Luthor had taken Jason and Lois to this spot, to watch the "birth of a new continent". The island was infused with Kryptonite, and Superman had almost killed himself hurtling the rock into space._

_The pulsing came from directly below him, so he dived into the water to find the source. The sea floor was rocky and uneven, sharp spikes protruding into the ocean, and massive canyons sunk deep into the earth. Something unusual caught his eye, something lying on the edge of a rocky cliff._

_A crystal._

_Jason's eyes widened. He'd seen them before. He was five years old, sitting on his mothers lap on Lex Luthor's boat. They were lying on a cloth laid out on the table, the control crystals for the Fortress of Solitude._

_Jason picked it up and felt it humming in his hands. Another hum joined the first, muffled by the pressured water. He sunk further down into the canyon._

_Several more crystals were inside, on ledges and scattered at the bottom._

_Jason searched his perfect memory, there were seven crystals. All were here._

_He tugged off his jacket and wrapped them inside._

_Jason broke the surface, greedily gulping in air he had denied himself for ten full minutes. Not breathing unnerved him._

_He tucked the bundled, water logged jacket under his arm and pointed himself North, speeding towards the Fortress._

_He was holding all the control crystals._

_The same ones that could revive Lois._

* * *

'I went straight to the Fortress, right to where I knew he would be.' Jason said. 'I told him how the control crystals had called to me, how they were the only way to save mom… but he wouldn't listen to me.'

He stood up, balling his hands into fists.

'He was just sick, kept babbling that he wouldn't do it. The selfish bastard just left her in that freaky half existence, just so he could look at her like she was some trophy or statue.' He choked on a laugh. 'I had half a mind to start a catastrophe somewhere to distract him, just so I could revive her myself. But I don't know how, they didn't come with instructions, you know, and those crystals all look the same to me.

'After that, I don't know, I gave up. I didn't want _anything_ to do with him, I just wanted out.' He sounded like a helpless child, and Sasha's heart went out to him. 'But when I got home, nothing had changed. I was still a half alien freak, I could still do the impossible, and I was still living in the Superman capital of the world.' His voice dropped to a whisper. 'Even if I never saw or heard from him again, I couldn't stay there. Just knowing that everyone around me thought of him as a hero.'

'What did you do?' Sasha asked.

'What every teenage freak does.' Jason crossed his arms and leant with his back against the wall. 'I ran away from home. I didn't even think about what it would do to Richa- my Dad.' He corrected hastily. 'I didn't wake up Dad, didn't leave a note, I didn't even say goodbye to my friends.' He scoffed at himself. 'True Superman style. Leaving with no warning, no explanation…'

* * *

_Jason wasn't swimming so much as flying through the water; his arms were still by his sides, still wearing what he had thrown on when he woke at midnight. His head broke the surface of the water, and he flung his black hair back out of his face._

_He was well out into the ocean now; his inhuman eyes could see most of East America, Metropolis, and New York, all spreading out on one side of him with lights twinkling._

_It wasn't enough to just go out and away, so he shot upwards, out of the water._

_The wind-chill was freezing, out of cold water and into gale force winter winds, but he didn't notice it. Jason gulped in air when it started thinning. He broke the sound barrier and pushed through layer after layer of the atmosphere until…_

_He broke free. The still cold of space shocked him._

_Somewhere in the universe, in this galaxy or the next, he belonged. A radioactive chunk of rock, a planet orbiting a red sun, anywhere._

_He kept pushing upwards and outwards, when suddenly the sun rose past the Earth and hit him full force._

_He was nearly sent tumbling backwards at the energy. He had never felt anything like it. It literally knocked the air from his lungs as he felt the pure radiation, unfiltered by the atmosphere, for the first time._

_The undeniable pull towards the energy went through his entire body, and he shot off towards it._

_He felt like the energy, the pure power being offered to him, was worth more than the pain he had suffered._

_He choked and ran out of oxygen, the shock jolting him out of his trance. For a split second, the weightlessness disoriented him; he was unable to find a point of gravity. He found the Earth and launched himself towards it, amazed at how easily he flew through space._

_For the first time, he experienced re-entry, the sheer friction of air beginning to set his clothes on fire. As soon as he could breathe, he blew them out, keeping them cold until they were safe._

_Below him, New Zealand was coming up frighteningly fast. He dove to the left to avoid the land and seconds later, he smacked down into the ocean._

_The cool currents were a blessed relief from the burning re-entry, but he still didn't have air to breathe. He broke the surface again, but stayed submerged, cooling off._

Help! Someone, help him!

_Usually, Jason would ignore the plea, but he could hear his father was busy with flood relief in Eastern China, and he was energized from the close encounter with the sun. He dove back under the water and sped off towards the voice, the coastline of Australia._

_A small boy was struggling in the water, being dragged out by a strong rip. Jason grabbed him and pulled him upwards. The boy floundered, but Jason just spread him out on the surface of the water._

'_I'm going to take you back in to land now, but you have to calm down, okay?' Jason asked. 'You need to be brave; do you think you can do that for me?'_

_The boy nodded._

'_Alright.'_

_Jason began to pull the boy towards the shore carefully. Everyone on the beach was standing by the water, watching with shocked expressions. It took him far too long to reach the shore, swimming at a human speed._

_He pulled the boy safely up onto the wet sand, where he was immediately grabbed and hauled up further. Jason rolled over, coughing pathetically. The crowd rushed around them, but paused when they saw Jason._

_He could understand their hesitation, a man shows up out of nowhere, saves a boy, and has black hair and blue eyes. Jason collapsed onto his back, panting and wheezing._

'_Let me through!' a man bellowed, and the crowd gave way. The man was wearing a yellow and red shirt, and he immediately took charge._

'_Take the kid up to the shelter.' He ordered with a strong Australian accent. He shook Jason's shoulder. 'Hey, are you alright?'_

_Jason nodded, feigning a struggle to sit up. 'Yeah.'_

'_That was a brave thing you did.' The man continued. 'Not many people would do something like that.'_

_Jason was just about to answer when the woman who had called for help launched herself at him._

'_Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!' she exclaimed._

'_I've never seen anyone swim like that. You even beat my boys out there.' The man said. 'Come on, let's get you up to the Life Saver's hut, you can rest there.'_

* * *

'They thought that I'd just jumped in the water to save him.' Jason explained. 'Just a bystander who put his life on the line. The guys who stayed with me, talking to me on the beach were Surf Life Savers, volunteers. They offered me a job with them, helping out.'

'Did you take it?' Sasha asked.

'Of course I did. I was saving people and it was normal. I could sit outside all day in the sun and spend the nights over the empty Outback. Even though they thought Superman was great, they didn't worship him. They had problems and they weren't afraid to solve them.' He smiled sadly.

Sasha stared at him for a long moment, studying his wearied face, exhausted from the long day.

'What did you do for work?' she asked. 'Did they pay you?'

'No, Surf Life Saving was volunteers, but I did a couple more labouring jobs around the area.' He paused and smiled guiltily. 'But… when I got particularly lazy, I would get a lump of coal and-'

'Oh, you didn't.' Sasha shook her head in disbelief.

'Yup.' Jason nodded. 'Squeezed it for a good couple of minutes and sold it on the black market. People would pay a bucket load for that.'

'How long did you stay in Australia?'

'Years, I made good friends there. Mike was my age and I felt welcome. From eighteen till twenty-five, when you contacted me.' Jason said. 'I kept in touch with Richard, kind of. He understood that I couldn't stay in Metropolis. Every now and then, I'd leave a letter in his mailbox, just to let him know I was safe and happy, that sort of thing…' he trailed off, then added softly. 'I haven't written to him since I came here.'

'So he knew that you left? That you didn't just disappear in the middle of the night?' Sasha clarified.

'Yeah.' Jason said. 'When I first landed in Australia, I had nothing with me, no clothes, no possessions. I had just run. You don't tend to think through the logistics of leaving home after something like that. I went back for my things.'

* * *

_Jason quietly drifted to his bedroom window. His heart surged at the familiarity of the house, but he continued on._

_He pressed a hand against the glass of the window and gently pushed. Nothing happened. Of course, he had locked it; he had never intended to return._

_He applied a little more force to the window, just a little more, then the latch cracked and broke, and the window opened._

_The curtains were drawn, just as he left it. Jason pushed them aside and touched down._

_The room was dark and exactly as he remembered it. Moving as quietly as he could, he began packing everything he needed. Photographs were the first thing he tossed into the bag, lots of his family, Lois and Richard grinning on either side of him. The only photo he left was a crooked one he had taken when he was eight, of Lois working hard at her desk in _The Daily Planet_, bumbling, honest Clark Kent standing next to her, holding coffee and glancing at the camera, that photo Jason threw across the floor. After the photos, Jason threw in clothes, but no money. He'll make his own way._

_He paused for a long moment, the bag slung over one shoulder, staring at the corner where he hid the Suit. He never wanted to think about Superman again, but the Suit was _his_, it was practical._

_He knelt down in the corner, where the old carpet didn't quite reach the wall. He lifted up the carpet, peeling it back slowly to reveal the wooden floorboards. He wedged a finger in the small crack and pulled._

Crack.

_Downstairs in the living room, Richard jerked his head up._

_Jason grabbed hold of the half-broken wood and pulled again._

Crack.

_Richard placed his beer on the table and warily made his way upstairs._

_Jason looked inside the floorboards with mixed emotions. He swore he would never use this suit again, but necessity overruled that oath._

_The black material gazed up at him, a silver S emblazoned on the chest._

_Jason quickly grabbed the Suit and stood._

_He heard steps from outside the door and he froze in fear. He stared at the door, concentrating until it faded from sight._

_Richard was standing there, frozen, hand outstretched towards the door knob as if he was contemplating not coming in._

_In a depressed sigh, Richard dropped his hand and hung his head. He shoved his hands into his pockets, down turned face etched with worry and frustration._

_Jason felt a lump in his throat. Richard exhaled and slumped his shoulders. He turned and shuffled back towards the stairs._

'_I'm so sorry, Dad. I can't stay here with him.'_

_The familiar voice came from behind him. Richard snapped around and in a moment he was fumbling with the door knob._

_His heart raced as he pushed the door open. He was here, he was back, he had to be._

_But there was nothing there. Just the curtains billowing from the wind and some overturned carpet._

_He was gone again._

* * *

'You kept the Suit?' Sasha asked. 'Why?'

'Like I said, it was practical. Besides, I ripped the S from the front; it doesn't look a thing like his now. I actually brought it with me when I came here. The representative made it seem like I'd be doing a lot of flying.'

'So when our representatives contacted you,' Sasha asked, 'how did that happen?'

'I got too careless, as it turns out, I broke some kind of long standing record and got my face in the paper.' Jason smiled and sat down, tapping the table absently. 'Mike surprised me with it, so I couldn't do a thing about it. Someone here got a hold of it and thought there was something odd about it. Probably pretty surprised to see a twenty year old Superman living in Australia.'

Sasha smiled slightly. 'And that leaves us back where we are.'

Jason nodded. 'Yeah, a few days after I signed on with you guys, this annoyingly nosey, yet very attractive, psychiatrist started asking me questions.'

Sasha smiled involuntarily and then her stomach rumbled.

'Time flies when you're having fun, huh?' she said lamely.

'Go on, get something to eat.' Jason jerked his head at the door. 'You must be starving.'

Sasha smiled gratefully and stood, collecting her things. Just as she slipped out the door, she heard him call out from behind her.

'How about we actually get some good food next date?'

* * *

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	7. Chapter 7

Dr Holt walked into Jason's room, carrying a ridiculously thick stack of papers under his arm. Jason looked up from _The Daily Planet_ at him as he placed it on the table with a thud.

'The collect works of William Shakespeare?' Jason asked, pointing at the large stack of papers. 'Thanks, but I'm not really into poetry.'

Dr Holt laughed like someone had just told him to appreciate humour. 'Not exactly. These are the results of the tests we ran.'

Jason closed the newspaper and dropped it carelessly on his bed.

'All of that?' he asked.

'I thought I should leave this here, in case you wanted some light reading.' Dr Holt said.

Jason stared at him before laughing sharply. 'Doc, you made a joke. It could be that I'm getting to you after all.'

'Yes, well, after this detailed analysis,' Holt tapped the pages, 'we are ready to begin experimenting.'

Jason sat up very straight. 'What? Right now?'

'Whenever you're ready.'

Jason glanced down at the newspaper he had been reading, the article about the last heroic rescue, Superman's face plastered over the front page.

'I'm ready.'

* * *

An hour later, Jason was strapped into the same dentist-like chair, staring up at the machine.

'What's happening this time?' Jason asked.

Dr Holt flicked some switches and typed something onto his laptop. 'We've been studying the nearby star, Mu Cephei, for the past few weeks, collating data on its frequency output, energy, even down to ultrasonic waves.'

'Mu Cephei, that's…' Jason almost shrank back into himself. 'That's a Red Supergiant.'

Dr Holt looked surprised. 'Yes, that's correct. How did you know that?'

Jason threw him a sour look. 'Always with underestimating me. I'm not dumb, alright? What? You think I'd find out I'm half alien and not do something about it? Try to fix it? I researched Red Suns, tried to see if there was a way to, to make me normal.' Jason craned his neck around and stared him in the face. 'You're going to blast me with rays from a star like the one Krypton used to orbit? Are you crazy?'

'Is there a problem?' Dr Holt asked evenly.

'My father was exposed to a red sun, alright?' Jason said through tight lips. 'Some time before I was born. He told me himself, and he almost got killed for it. Him and half the population of Metropolis.'

'Well, the process wasn't permanent was it?' Dr Holt said. 'Trust me, Mr White; we have the situation completely under control. If anything happens, all I have to do is hit this button,' he gestured to one on the controls, 'and the machine will automatically produce yellow sun rays and put you back to normal. It's a failsafe.'

Jason wasn't listening. 'I don't want to do this experiment. Do anything else, just not this one.'

'Relax Mr White, nothing will go wrong.' Dr Holt was unnervingly calm. 'Just let the machine do its work.'

Before Jason could answer, Dr Holt flicked a switch and the machine hummed to life.

Jason expected a white hot flash of pain, that the Red Sun rays would make him arch off the chair. Instead, the dim red light made a glow around him, concentrating on his chest. A few moments later, the humming stopped and the light cut off, and Jason knew what it was like to be alone.

It was like someone had hurled him into space, but given him enough oxygen to survive. He was cold, the Red Sun's light was inside every cell, and it was much colder than what he was used to. Jason squeezed his eyes shut to try and block the sensations out, but it just made it worse.

He was finally normal, only now, he wished for anything other than what he was feeling. He would rather crawl back to his father and beg for forgiveness than live like this. Sounds were suddenly so much duller, distant. All he could feel was the numb cold of being alone.

'Turn it off, please. Put me back to normal.' Jason begged, his voice suddenly so small to his own ears.

Dr Holt obeyed, hitting the panic button and the machine hummed to life again, the familiar yellow light surrounding him. Jason rolled his head back and let the familiar heat of the sun force its way into his body.

As soon as the chilling feel of the Red Sun faded and he felt recharged, he snapped the small restraints on his wrists and flew straight upwards out of the chair.

'I don't want to go through that again.' Jason said darkly, looking down at Dr Holt before he punched through the heavy steel door and flew down the corridor.

* * *

'Why did you react the way you did?' Sasha asked.

This time, they were not in the cold and empty interrogation room, but Sasha's own office. Jason had scanned the complex, looking and listening for the heartbeat that had begun to grow familiar to him. He had opened the door without knocking and looked at her weakly, asking if she had time to talk.

'It's not right.' Jason answered. 'It's not right to be that alone, powerless. It's like…'

'Like your own personal hell.' Sasha finished. 'It looks like we've just discovered your kryptonite.'

Jason cocked an eyebrow and Sasha stumbled over her mistake.

'Weakness, I meant weakness.' Sasha covered lamely. 'I was just, you know, speaking metaphorically.'

'Oh, yeah.' Jason said sarcastically. He looked down at his hand again. He was playing with a small lump of metal, probably a door knob, rolling it around in his hand. He was alternating between moulding, melting and freezing it. He would pinch bits of metal and roll them around into a snake, as if it was just a piece of moulding clay.

'I'll speak to Dr Holt.' Sasha assured him. 'It won't happen again.'

Jason had rolled the piece of metal into a ball and stared at it intently. Sasha was just about to say something when she noticed a red flicker around his eyes. A concentrated beam of heat was focused on the ball, and within moments, the metal melted in the palm of his hand. With a puff of cooled air, the melted doorknob froze into a flat puddle, and Jason began moulding it again.

Somehow, Jason's personality seemed to have been changed by the encounter with the red sun rays. It made sense, the light rays were his life source, and they powered him. When foreign energy was introduced into his system, he changed.

'You seem tense.' Sasha noted, watching the superhero's equivalent of a stress ball.

The metal was once again shaped like a doorknob and he placed it on the edge of her desk.

'I've got all this power and no one will let me release it.' He said.

'There's a gym downstairs if-'

'That won't do anything.' Jason fidgeted. 'I need to bench press a semi-trailer or something.'

'I'm sorry, I can't help you there.' Sasha said.

'That's fine.' Jason stood up and walked towards the door.

'Wait, don't you want the, uh, stress ball?' Sasha asked, holding it out to him.

Jason smiled at her. 'Tell you what. You hold onto that.'

He walked outside and left the door open, so Sasha could see him taking off and flying down the hallway.

The doorknob was missing from her office door.

* * *

The next time Dr Holt came to him with an experimental proposition, Jason stood cautiously to the side.

'You're going to tell me what you're doing this time, aren't you, Doc?' Jason asked. 'Or I might have half a mind to read that Shakespeare length report someone had to write.'

'We're trying something new.' Dr Holt said. 'And you can feel free to check the computer for the details.'

Jason walked over and bent to read the screen, flicking through the files at a superhuman speed that even the upgraded computer was having trouble trying to keep up.

They were planning to blast him with harnessed light rays again, only this time; they weren't going to use the sun's rays, or even the Red Sun Mu Cephei, but another star, Sirius, a white dwarf star.

Jason snapped backwards and frowned.

'What's that going to do?' he asked.

'We don't know.' Holt said simply. 'We're hopeful that the white star's energy, combined with the yellow that is already in your system, will form some unexpected powers and abilities.'

'Is it dangerous?' Jason asked.

'The yellow sun's rays keep you invincible no matter what. The worst that could happen is that you feel a little woozy.' Holt explained. 'Not unlike a short exposure to Kryptonite. If anything goes wrong, I hit the panic button, and you go back to normal.'

Jason frowned, unsure. 'I don't really trust you.'

'If we're right,' Dr Holt said slowly, 'this could very well give you the advantage over Superman that you were looking for.'

The thought was tempting. Jason always knew there was no way he could beat his father without help, and this was the perfect opportunity.

The results would be worth the risk.

'Do it.'

The white sun's rays weren't energising or even a warm feeling. It spread through him like an itch, like it was piercing his body. It crawled under his skin and made its way up to his mind. His stomach was churning, he felt the urge to be sick, but part of him was laughing.

It was working.

The itch turned into a tingle, and the tingle turned into an ache. The machine turned off as it reached the end of its supply, but Jason wasn't finished.

The ache turned into a burn and he knew this feeling before, any time he got too close to the sun and didn't discharge. He was overloading with energy and needed to expel it.

Jason threw his head back and opened his eyes. Twin beams of heat shot out and carved a hole in the ceiling. Plaster and concrete collapsed on top of him and cracked. He was shaking enough to snap the restraints again.

'I'm hitting the panic button.' Dr Holt yelled in warning.

'No!' Jason roared. His tremors were slowing and most of the energy was out. 'I'm good, I'm good.' He rasped. He wiped sweat from his face and sat up. 'We need to do that again. I need more white, so I know what I can do.'

* * *

Sasha sighed and looked Jason up and down. He looked like he'd just ran a marathon, his hair was messy and his face was worn. She wondered if this was another side-effect of the unknown light in his body. He usually looked rejuvenated, healthy at least; now, he looked like any other stressed, work obsessed human. His personality had changed too. The white light in his system made him snap more often, like his powers weren't the only thing out of control.

'You don't look so good.' She observed.

'I feel great.' Jason replied. 'I know most of the white light was only in my system for a short time, but I can feel how much good it's going to do.'

'Good?' Sasha repeated, incredulous.

'I know.' Jason said sadly. 'And it kind of scares me. This must be like what drugs feel like. I'm on a high, but I know I've got my head together.'

'So what's your plan from here?' Sasha asked, steering the conversation.

'Train myself up.' Jason answered. 'Figure out what those white rays can do to me, and then take that evil sucker down.'

Sasha sighed in frustration and brushed a hand through her hair. 'I still don't understand the blind hate you have against him.'

'He completely ruined my life.' Jason stressed. 'He destroyed everything I thought I knew just by existing.'

'But he's still your father.' Sasha said.

'I have a father, a good father who never let me down.' Jason said darkly. 'Richard White.'

'I understand, but, Jason,' Sasha said, 'you have had a good life, you've never had to worry or fear for yourself or your family. Your powers could be hidden and you could still live life.' Sasha took a deep breath and paused for a moment as Jason looked at her heavily. 'We do have other people, special people in this facility and I am psychiatrist to a few of them. Just today, I talked with an eight year old girl who threw her abusive father off a balcony without even touching him. I met a teenage boy who had to live on the street after accidently electrocuting a teacher when he touched him. Their powers are small fry compared to yours, but they were alienated because of them.' Sasha looked him in the eye as she spoke. 'Jason, you had a home and a family, and parents who loved you very much. I'm sure they would take you back, if you asked them.'

'I don't want to go back.' Jason said. 'I want to do this.'

Sasha clipped the lid on her pen and tossed it to the table. She sat on the edge of her chair and leaned in.

'Do you know why I decided to be a mind doctor, Jason?' she asked slowly.

Jason shrugged casually.

Sasha paused for a moment then spoke. 'I love understanding people.'

Jason watched her mouth move and the words that came out, but her voice was doubling up, he could hear her twice, one through his ears and the other… in his mind.

'_I'm just so good at getting into people's heads.'_

Jason stood sharply, the chair clattering to the floor. He breathed deeply and stared at her.

'_You can hear me?'_ he thought hard.

Sasha looked taken aback.

'I've got to go.' She muttered, another thought pushing itself into Jason's mind.

'_Come to my office when you can.'

* * *

_

_**I have no excuse for not updating this story. I'm terribly sorry. Thanks so much to DarkDefender89 who brought this back to my attention! Please review, I love to know what people think!**_


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